Just sit with it.

I don’t want to sit with it. I don’t want it to consume me. I don’t want to go back to that place. It’s too painful. It’s too hard. I’m too stressed. I can’t even begin to know how. What would make me want to do that? How could I do that? What if I do this and I just get worse? What if I hurt other people I love because sitting with it is too much, and then I have no one. Nothing.

It’s too hard.

Sitting with the loss is too damn hard.

Sitting with it, being present for your pain, anguish, disgust, frustration, anger seems impossible. What will happen if you sit with it? What will happen if you acknowledge the loss? It will be real. It will be overwhelming. It will be unbearable.

But.

What if it’s relieving? What if it’s freeing? What if you can change your relationship with the loss? What if, and stay with me here, you can start to remember and express love with this loss? What if you can smile at the thought of that person or relationship?

Sitting with the loss is more than just experiencing the pain. It’s about working through that pain and anguish so you can drastically change your relationship with the loss. You may start to do things differently in your life to address the loss instead of avoid it. Maybe you create meaning from the loss. Start a foundation. Give to a local charity. Go back to school. Do some of the things you always wanted to do with that person. Get yourself into a place they would be happy to know about.

Maybe you build relationships with others who experienced a similar loss. Family and friends, and strangers you meet in support groups. Maybe you go to life events and express how much that person would have loved to be there and give yourself space to feel sad and happy all at once.

Seem impossible?

It doesn’t have to be. You can feel relief. You can have a relationship with your loss that you never thought was possible.

Let us help you. We are here.